Why Go Out?
Sheila Heti wrote an essay a while ago comparing socializing to smoking addiction. Same physical ache. Same craving. Same pattern of disappointment followed by doing it again.
She asks the obvious question: why leave the house? At home you wear pyjamas. Nobody insults you. No scotch costs too much. Few of us get laid anyway.
Her answer lands somewhere uncomfortable. We go out to discover we're not as generous, charming, or courageous as we imagined in solitude. We go out to fall short.
Her line: "Maybe the only cure for self-confidence and courage is humility. Maybe we go out in order to fall short… because we want to learn how to be good at being people."
Also: "And truly, who has ever been satisfied by people?"
Nobody. But we keep going.
Why Go Out? — by Sheila Heti